Hello and thank you for joining me on this emotional roller coaster that I would never wish on anyone. If you've never been to this blog before let me tell you some things that might help you. Its better to start at the beginning and for me that was 12/30/2009...if you look to the right you will see blog archive,you can start at the top and work your way down.The beginning is April 18, 2010, It just makes it easier. And everyone please feel free to leave comments or anything you want. I know alot of you have your own special memories that maybe you want to share. Its up to you. I will tell you that this blog is very blunt and very real. Im sorry if it offends anyone , thats not my intention. When I first starting writing it I knew that I would end up telling alot of my little "secrets". But , for me to find my healing I had to face who I really was and the life history that has made me the woman I am today.These are my opinions and views. But, ultimately this is for me not you. So , thank you again and may God bless u.



Cina



Tuesday, June 29, 2010

04/17/2010

Its the day before my 37th Birthday.....

Five days after I tried to kill myself and four months seventeen days after my son died.

I know that I need to start writing. I need to tell my feelings. Somewhere out there there is someone in some moment of time that will need to hear my words. I have to write them down for her. I don't know her yet and I may never meet her , but my words will bring her hope and will save her life.

So ... I'm at home now and I begin to write a blog. Its hard at first. I don't want to relive those awful moments. But its cleansing too. While I'm writing I will be crying and so sad. But , when I finish a day , I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.


I really think that maybe I'm gonna be ok.
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