Hello and thank you for joining me on this emotional roller coaster that I would never wish on anyone. If you've never been to this blog before let me tell you some things that might help you. Its better to start at the beginning and for me that was 12/30/2009...if you look to the right you will see blog archive,you can start at the top and work your way down.The beginning is April 18, 2010, It just makes it easier. And everyone please feel free to leave comments or anything you want. I know alot of you have your own special memories that maybe you want to share. Its up to you. I will tell you that this blog is very blunt and very real. Im sorry if it offends anyone , thats not my intention. When I first starting writing it I knew that I would end up telling alot of my little "secrets". But , for me to find my healing I had to face who I really was and the life history that has made me the woman I am today.These are my opinions and views. But, ultimately this is for me not you. So , thank you again and may God bless u.



Cina



Friday, June 18, 2010

March - Working

So I got a job. Im working for a political candidate whose up for mayor in La Marque. I really dont care about him , its just a job. Its only temporary but I gotta do something. I feel like I woke up from a dream and my life is a mess. I dont have any money , Im so broke. Like flat broke and all the bills are due. Thats whats so messed up. It feels like grieving is only for rich people. They have the luxury of being able to grieve in their time. Ha! Not me . Ive been broke my whole life. I dont want to go out in the world but what choice do I have?



Jessica is still gone from me. I miss her so much .Im so mad at myself because I dont even know how to love her anymore. I mean , dont get me wrong. I love her, I just dont know how to show it to her. What kind of mother have I become?
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