Hello and thank you for joining me on this emotional roller coaster that I would never wish on anyone. If you've never been to this blog before let me tell you some things that might help you. Its better to start at the beginning and for me that was 12/30/2009...if you look to the right you will see blog archive,you can start at the top and work your way down.The beginning is April 18, 2010, It just makes it easier. And everyone please feel free to leave comments or anything you want. I know alot of you have your own special memories that maybe you want to share. Its up to you. I will tell you that this blog is very blunt and very real. Im sorry if it offends anyone , thats not my intention. When I first starting writing it I knew that I would end up telling alot of my little "secrets". But , for me to find my healing I had to face who I really was and the life history that has made me the woman I am today.These are my opinions and views. But, ultimately this is for me not you. So , thank you again and may God bless u.



Cina



Friday, June 18, 2010

3/28/2010 - Failure is coming

Im losing ground. April 1st is coming and I dont have rent. What the hell? I dont even care. Maybe Ill go be a homeless woman. I could so see myself walking around all dirty and babbling to myself.I would hve to be dirty so no one would want to get near me. The whole world would stay away.I could live at the park and just watch children play all day. Not like in a weird way...but in an admiring way.I could live at the beach , that was your favorite place. Remember when we lived close to the Texas City Dike? You would get off of school and grab something to eat and go fishing. Every single day.
Your daddy likes to think that you were such a great fisherman because of him. But , me and you know the truth right son?
Mommie taught you everything you know.
And then one day you were teaching me. You were so smart.
There was nothing you couldnt do.
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