3/30/2010

Today is three months that Phillip has been gone......We've never been apart this long. I miss everything about him .

I am starting to think about him...like his physical body. I sometimes allow myself to think about his handsome face. Every once in a while I glance at his picture. He was getting so tall. We would go places and I would look at him and he was taller than me. My big boy.... 5'10" I remember what he looked like in certain clothes. Like his school uniform , he has this one yellow collared shirt that was a lil bit too small on him. But , he looked so cute in it. I remember what he looked like when I would be leaving to work and he would be standing outside waiting for the bus. He would mess with me so bad , he would make me stop to give me a kiss.He would be out there dancing around at the cars and I would see him out the rear view mirror and I would just be laughing at him. It just seems like such a waste to me. He had the potential to be someone great. He was a leader never a follower. When a group of kids were around they flocked him. Everyone wanted to be his friend.

And now he's gone.

He was my world. I feel so lost without him in my life. Its like I don't know how I am supposed to start living again. My mind just doesn't feel right.

Tomorrow is also the ten year anniversary of my Erik...


All my men leave me.