Hello and thank you for joining me on this emotional roller coaster that I would never wish on anyone. If you've never been to this blog before let me tell you some things that might help you. Its better to start at the beginning and for me that was 12/30/2009...if you look to the right you will see blog archive,you can start at the top and work your way down.The beginning is April 18, 2010, It just makes it easier. And everyone please feel free to leave comments or anything you want. I know alot of you have your own special memories that maybe you want to share. Its up to you. I will tell you that this blog is very blunt and very real. Im sorry if it offends anyone , thats not my intention. When I first starting writing it I knew that I would end up telling alot of my little "secrets". But , for me to find my healing I had to face who I really was and the life history that has made me the woman I am today.These are my opinions and views. But, ultimately this is for me not you. So , thank you again and may God bless u.



Cina



Saturday, April 17, 2010

12/30/2009 Later still....

I get home and your not there. Jessica your sister is there and hasn't seen or heard from you either. I'm mad. But you've been late so many times and always got mad at me when I worried about you so I try my hardest not to worry. I'm in my room with Jessica and my friend and we are laughing unwinding from the day.I'm thinking about you but still trying not to worry. I remember standing there and just freezing. I cock my ear to the closed bedroom door and say , "Did y'all hear that? Phillips home!" I heard you clear as day open the front door and say mama. I run out of the room laughing because my baby is finally home.The living room was dark and empty. I go back to the room, laughed it off and said, "oh , I must have been tripping."

***You were already dead when this happened.It wasn't till I knew that, that the full impact of it hit me. I know I heard you. I know your voice son and I heard you clear as day say mama. I don't know why? Maybe my baby was calling out to me.I don't know. But , it happened.***

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