Hello and thank you for joining me on this emotional roller coaster that I would never wish on anyone. If you've never been to this blog before let me tell you some things that might help you. Its better to start at the beginning and for me that was 12/30/2009...if you look to the right you will see blog archive,you can start at the top and work your way down.The beginning is April 18, 2010, It just makes it easier. And everyone please feel free to leave comments or anything you want. I know alot of you have your own special memories that maybe you want to share. Its up to you. I will tell you that this blog is very blunt and very real. Im sorry if it offends anyone , thats not my intention. When I first starting writing it I knew that I would end up telling alot of my little "secrets". But , for me to find my healing I had to face who I really was and the life history that has made me the woman I am today.These are my opinions and views. But, ultimately this is for me not you. So , thank you again and may God bless u.



Cina



Wednesday, May 5, 2010

01/26/2010 -Tired

I wake up and I look at myself in the mirror. The reflection that looks back me is terrifying.

I look bad...my eyes are swollen. My face is puffy and I look old. My hair is tangled and knotted...I havent combed it in days.

I have so much gray hair...I feel like ive aged twenty years since Phillip died.

I dont have any strength left in me. My body is tired and weak.

I go back to bed and stay there for days...I have no more energy to fight. No will left to live.

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