Hello and thank you for joining me on this emotional roller coaster that I would never wish on anyone. If you've never been to this blog before let me tell you some things that might help you. Its better to start at the beginning and for me that was 12/30/2009...if you look to the right you will see blog archive,you can start at the top and work your way down.The beginning is April 18, 2010, It just makes it easier. And everyone please feel free to leave comments or anything you want. I know alot of you have your own special memories that maybe you want to share. Its up to you. I will tell you that this blog is very blunt and very real. Im sorry if it offends anyone , thats not my intention. When I first starting writing it I knew that I would end up telling alot of my little "secrets". But , for me to find my healing I had to face who I really was and the life history that has made me the woman I am today.These are my opinions and views. But, ultimately this is for me not you. So , thank you again and may God bless u.



Cina



Wednesday, May 5, 2010

01/24/2010 (Early)

Jessica is leaving me tonight. She wants to go with her friends and I have to let her. Its the hardest thing. I get so panicky and nervous. But , I am willing , not ready to let her go.
Only thing is....
I know tonight I will be alone.
Im terrifed of tonight because I know.
I know what has been trying to get at me.
I know what has been building in me.
I know the voices in the back of my head that I have been trying to ignore.
I know
I know
I know........
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